Tuesday, September 1, 2009


that's what love is. you fall. sometimes you trip and stub your toe. other times you fall flat on your hands & knees & sometimes you fall so fast & so hard, you hit your head right on the concrete.
when i saw you, i fell in love & you smiled cause you knew.

& i don't want to end up an old lady that could never ever love a man because she didn't want to get hurt.
boy, it scares the hell out of me, knowing I may never get over you.

you know that when he stares at you for longer than a second that hes thinking about you.
he confuses me soo much, it's like one day he completely ignores me && the next he smiles at me && i cant get him out of my head.

if only i had one wish, i'd want a million trillion lifetimes that i could spend with you ... to fall in love with you again & again.
and I ran into a random picture of you i looked into those eyes and suddenly, i knew exactly what I wass missing.

& when she sleeps she hides her hands under the pillow so maybe she'll forget how badly she wants you to hold them.
I just don't understand it ..I told myself I'd never like you again, but every time I talk to you I see that smile & those gorgeous eyes and I realize i just can't get over this guy no matter how hard I try.

And if I called you; saying I was afraid of staying here, would you come get me?
I hate it when people tell me, "I can't believe you don't have a boyfriend!" Well what's so hard to believe? I've never been good enough for anyone.

You started telling me all about her;; & for the first time I didn't care that you weren't talking about me & i finally realized I'm over you .
you'd be surprised as to how often a joke, memory, or song reminds me of you.

Sometimes i look at you and you seem to be looking back at me but sometimes you look away like you dont know what might happen if you stare for just a second longer .
& i wish you would stop liking her for just one minute, because in just that minute, there would be hope.

i never thought i would risk the chance of getting hurt again but for some reason, when i'm with you it all seems worth it.
a girl needs three things in her life --
1. boys and love to make her weak
2. family and fighting to make her strong
3. friends to pick her up when both make her hit the floor


we drew hearts on the sidewalk but then the sidewalk cracked.
All I wanted was you. Nothing else. Not a ring to put on my finger. Or a hand to hold. I don't need material things. Just knowing im yours,
would make me feel so good, that at night, i'd actually be able to sleep.


I was making a list. I was checking it twice, but in the middle of this, i got tears in my eyes. Because in my foolish heart there was only one
simple truth: The only gift i wanted was you
.
& i sit at the computer waiting for you to get on but then you do and i realize; it doesn't matter that you're on, 'cause you dont talk to me and i can't talk to you because im afraid.

theres this girl and all she does is think about you constantly.
She knew she had to be cautious, when speaking to him again, for she had her heart on the line. & with simply one wrong move, & she could surely find herself falling for that boy all over again.

it's just how she lives. loving all the wrong people & wishing all the wrong things.
sit by the window & watch the snow fall & the wind blow. watch the street lights shine & i hope you wish you were with me.

people come between us. they question us and i'm afraid if i tell them how special you are, they might just steal you away.
I look at him & all I can think of is the day when I won't be able to anymore.

i sat in front of my television and just cried. cried because i lost you. cried because every single promise you made, every single thing you said kept replaying in my head and i wanted them all to come true but because you weren't mine, they never would.
i don't regret things i do; i regret the things i didn't do when i had the chance.

so go & tell your friends that i'm obsessive & crazy, that's fine ; i’ll tell mine you're gay.
& what hurts the most is knowing that in a year my world will still revolve around you.

He leaned over & kissed me. I kissed him back & then, our eyes met & it was like we both knew…
So we smiled & kissed again. It was so perfect.

He was the first guy I was nervous to call. He was the first guy I ever went on a date with. The first guy I truly held hands with. The first guy I would stay on the phone for hours. He was my first true boyfriend. He was my first, second, & third kiss. He was my first everything, & lets face it, he still is..

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