i wish you knew how much this hurts. but, then again, no, i don't. it would be too embarrassing to have you know that i cry at night, that i wish you were there. that i pretend i'm holding your hand, and that i relate all these sad songs to you.
It still hasn't sunk in that it's over, for good this time. I can still look at your pictures and your notes and smile. I can still think back on our kisses and feel the butterflies instead of the heartbreak. I know in my head that you aren't going to be mine again. But my heart is stupid and won't believe. My heart was stupid to have fallen for you to begin with.
We spend our whole lives searching for all the things we think we want, never really knowing what we have.
I wasn't looking for a lifetime lover. I was only trying to find someone i can be myself with. Someone there to share things with. Someone who would always care. One who would make me laugh. And dry my tears. One who would worry about me. Wonder about me in class.. dream about me. But most of all i was looking for someone who wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with them.
Go date all those girls. Go date whoever your heart desires. because eventually when you're done with all those girls and you find out none
of them really loved you, you're going to think about me, and how much I loved you. You never even gave me one chance, and you're going to want a try. But you know what?
I’m not going to be there this time.